Pick Up Artist

Situational openers are great because they related directly to a situation that’s going on. They involve a woman by including them in on something that’s going on around them. They create an instant bond between you and a woman.

Opinion openers are when you go to a woman or set of women and ask their opinion on something. Opinion openers are a favorite of Mystery from the Mystery Method and The Pickup Artist Season 2. These work pretty well because they don’t telegraph to much interest. An example of an opinion opener is “Who do you think lies more, men or women?”.

Openers are like the new pick-up lines. They are ways to approach women in an given environment, like a bar or club, that make the job easier for you. The idea is to make it look like you’re just striking up a conversation with a girl or group of girls. Openers are especially effective when dealing with a group of girls, often referred to as “a set”. It can be heard to penetrate a set because when a group of girls get together, they can be like a group of piranhas. They put a front that is very hard for the average frustrated chump to conquer. There are several different types of openers a guy can use when approaching women.

Direct openers are just that – direct. They don’t try to conceal their intention. They are a simple, forward way to approach a girl. An example of a very simple direct opener is, “Hi, that’s a beautiful dress”.

It’s a common misconception that the most important part of meeting and being successful with women is the initial opening. First impressions are everything with women and if you fail in the first few seconds she will pretty much lump you in with all the other guys who are not going to see how she looks in the morning.

Yet, the opening is also the simplest and quickest part of the entire interaction. The most important part is actually what follows directly AFTER the opener. Anyone can walk over with a friendly smile and say “hello” to a girl or group of them. What instills fear in the hearts of most men is the “what comes next” part. Now that you have gotten her attention, how do you keep it and keep it in a way that she’ll find you attractive. Behold the entire “pick up artist” industry.

One school of thought advises you to have rehearsed situational or canned lines that can act as openers in a wide variety of situations. From opinion openers to questions to cleverly constructed stories and many other techniques, each has a useful place. Some are genius, others are retarded. But, the opening is just that…an opening for what comes next.

Another school of thought encourages “natural game,” or just being yourself and learning how to naturally interact with the girls without the help of canned lines and scripts. However, if you just being yourself worked every time, you wouldn’t be studying natural game or any form of pick up. You wouldn’t have to.

However, natural openers have their place. You do not have to worry about memorizing and delivering lines that could cause more nervousness than nothing at all. But using those lines is what often times leads to more confidence in the first place.

To tell you the truth…I am sick of all the feuding between natural and non-natural game. It’s stupid. They both work in different situations and if you limit yourself to one you’re lessening your chances. Why pick sides. This isn’t Democrats vs Republicans for God’s sake! Learn them both!

In my experience, situational openers are always the best. If you can identify with something going on around you and bring it up to her in a way that is clever or helps to continue the conversation you have a pretty good shot. But this takes practice and being good at following up.

One of the best openings I’ve ever used is walking up to a couple girls with a genuine smile as if I’m really surprised and delighted to see them and say “Hi, y’all have friendly faces.” (”yall” works well in Texas). This works on many levels simply because it does not compliment their looks or assume their attitudes are friendly. It compliments the vibe they are giving off and they often don’t know how to react…in which case there’s usually a smile and a thank you. I follow it up with telling them it’s refreshing to see girls out looking like they’re having fun and not just making fun of other girls at the bar. In most cases they’ve been doing that so you’ll see a guilty look on their faces.

This opener works like a charm in many situations.

I’ve also got a special place in my heart for using magic tricks as openers, but not in the way that most people would think. I’d sit on a hot poker before I would walk up to a girl I want and ask her to watch a magic trick. There is a very subtle and effective way to use magic as an opener.

For instance, doing a “proximity open” in which she is standing within eye shot of a visual trick like a levitating dollar bill, napkin, credit card, etc. I’ll be nonchalantly performing a trick in her line of sight for someone else and happen to catch her looking at me. I’ll wink and smile and 9/10 times she’ll actually approach me.

Or I’ll do a trick for a friend of mine and I’ll have him pull in the girl or one of her friends to where we’re at. This is where most idiots lose it and start acting like a dancing monkey. Instead of complying, become the “reluctant magician.” Play it off, tell them it’s a trick your grandfather taught you and then say “Fine, but I expect a talent show from each one of you if I can pull this off.” That makes it seem like you didn’t come out to do magic.

When you do a trick that impresses, it will immediately set a fun tone and allow you to ask for something in return. Sometimes I get drinks bought for me, other times I’ll tell them to take me to a corner and show me their hidden talents.

Here’s the point…my first opener was a “natural” opener and my second one was magic, or a gimmick, or a pre-planned opener. By refusing to limit myself to one style, I become more flexible to other situations. However I must admit, there is nothing more fun than doing a proximity opener with magic and having her come open me. I live for that!

The problem is that they are doing nothing to MAKE HER feel sexual attraction to them. Unlike men who can get in the mood when a stiff breeze passes, women don’t fall easily into the mood. It takes finesse and technique. Also, many men make the mistake of assuming they can wait until they get a woman back to their place to start getting her in the mood. You need to begin sexual stimulating her from the beginning of the date.

Most guys just assume that if a woman seems disinterested in them, they must just not be her type. They go on date after date and arouse very little interest in the woman assuming she must like only rich guys or that she only dates guys with Tom Cruise looks or something. They really believe that they are there just lay their cards on the table and see if she finds them attractive. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

It’s not enough to assume you’re going to brush your hair, throw together a nice outfit and women are just going to be attracted you. You need to learn to create a sexual dynamic between you and the woman. You need to make a woman feel chemistry for you. You hear women saying all the time that they just didn’t have that chemistry with their date. Well, I’m here to let you know that you can actually create this chemistry in her. This feeling of chemistry cannot be left up to chance. You have so many tools and techniques to make her begin feeling this chemistry with you.

The world of the Pickup Artist is the domain of one very special man. That’s right the man I’m referring to in this article is Mystery, who is the star of VH1’s hit TV show, “The Pickup Artist. Magazines like Elle and Saturday Night have billed Mystery as the greatest pickup artist the world has ever seen and for good reason. Mystery is a master at playing “The Game” which is a reference to the Novel written by Neil Strauss, who is also referred to as Style in the notorious Seduction Community.

Personally I feel Mystery is doing the world in general a real service by teaching lost, awkward men how to successfully break the ice, capture the imagination of and land rather attractive women. Having said this, Mystery’s teachings of the Venusian Arts and the collective Seduction Community has had to face its fair share of criticism from several corners. However, when one takes into consideration all the factors involved, the whole thing comes across as a very innocent movement that is all about sharing as well caring. In fact that’s all it boils down to; Mystery’s sharing of the Venusian Art to help men pickup women.

Mystery, the man himself is not ashamed to proclaim that he too was a late bloomer who in his younger days was quite gawky and awkward when it came to the ladies. And just about every one that Mystery has taken under his tutorage has faced similar problems with females. The reason why Mystery’s teachings of the Venusian Art are so effective is because they have been borne out of frustration and have been perfected through a trial and error process. Mystery developed and perfected his technique by approaching various women over the years and trying different methods till he short listed those that actually worked.

Mystery’s teachings aren’t really all that complicated and they simply help you project confidence about who and how you are. Once you are at peace with yourself, you instantly become attractive to those around you and that’s all it takes.

Everyone on the Seduction community including Style, Matador and J-Dog had trouble meeting quality women before the learnt the secrets of the Venusian Arts. And this is when they brought their lives together and found happiness and fulfillment in life.

Perhaps the best thing about the show and the Venusian Arts is that there are no losers since both men and women get what they want. Men are able to land the woman of their dreams and women are able to find great men whom they would have missed otherwise. This makes the whole world a far better place to live in. So, if you decide to participate remember to respect the art and honor the others who are involved, but if you choose to sit on the sidelines and watch the movement gain momentum, then simply enjoy the show!

One of my favorite concepts in improving skills with women (whether you call it becoming a better pick-up artist (PUA), learning the art of seduction or just learning the way of the superior man) is the concept of frames and beliefs. I think that frames and beliefs are closely intertwined, so I decided to post about them together.

In this article, I aim to answer a few questions:
What are frames?
How can I use frames and beliefs to my advantage?
How can I make a new empowering belief become a real part of me?

See, it’s not uncommon for people talk about self-fulfilling prophecies. I think everyone would agree that when someone has unhelpful beliefs and expects the worst, they are most likely to get exactly what they expect.

At the same time, I don’t think people typically think about self-fulfilling prophecies in the positive sense. But why not? If we already believe there’s such thing as “believing something and then it comes true”, why aren’t we using this to our advantage??? Think about it! This is the idea of thoughts becoming reality – that’s like a holy grail in self-development and self-improvement.

My perception is that people believe that would be “too good to be true”. That’s what I originally felt, at least.

Or if they do think that self-fulfilling prophecies could benefit people if they’re holding good believes, I think another limiting belief is, “I can’t change what I believe. My beliefs are what they are and if I try to convince my mind otherwise, my mind will see that it’s ‘not real’ and immediately reject it.” This was another thought I had at first.

But enough great teachers and mentors recommended I start taking on beliefs and frames that are strategic, even if it feels completely psychotic and unnatural to hold those beliefs and frames at first.
For example, believing that women see me as the prize that they want to reach for and chase felt really unnatural at first. I felt like it was a total and complete act, but I committed to it fully and just experimented.

My results were much better than the results I had previously been getting. By holding the beliefs and frames and refusing to crack when it felt challenging to hold my frame, I had created a self-fulfilling prophecy: The women saw me as that “prize” and they DID chase me.

Now using beliefs and frames is a central part of what I use to be successful.

I’m going to talk real quick here about how I think about frames and beliefs and how I install these beliefs into my mind so they become “real” and a part of me.

With beliefs, I think of them as strategies. First, I ask myself, “What would be the most empowering reality for me if it were currently true? An example of this would be to believe that women LOVE me.

Now starting out my belief was that certain women in certain circumstances liked me. But to believe that ALL women LOVE me… wow, that would be a stretch… but it would be a great, empowering reality! So I decide that that’s what I’m going to install. Now how do I make it real and natural for me to believe it, so that it becomes a part of me?

I start by setting time aside each day and affirm the belief to myself. I’ll take five minutes and just keep repeating to myself, “Women LOVE me.” Over and over again, just keep repeating it and making it my only thought. Other thoughts come up, but I just continually return to my affirmation / mantra… “Women LOVE me, Women LOVE me, Women LOVE me…”

As I’m doing this, I am imagining myself moving through the world and women are looking at me and smiling, sending me great, loving vibes. They are loving my energy, my appearance, my attitude, my way of being, my way of talking, the things I talk about… And I am feeling it as if I already have this reality – I am imagining that it’s already real.

Then, when I’m out in the world, I interpret EVERYTHING from the frame (or attitude, or perspective, whatever you want to call it) that it is evidence that she loves me. Even if it seems completely psychotic to believe it, I do not waver in my frame that everything she’s doing is evidence that she loves me and that women in general love me.

The results I’ve experienced is that over a period of time, women end up buying into this reality! As I practice holding a frame during interactions with women, the time it takes for them to buy into the reality becomes less and less until it’s almost automatic in most interactions… and when it’s not, it’s automatic for me to hold the frame and it’s effortless.

I’m writing about this because I have found it to be so powerful and so helpful that I want to inspire all of you to start exploring it if you haven’t yet. I also wanted to take the concept of beliefs and frames from being just a concept and make it tangible and visceral, so you can have a feel for how it’s useful, what it’s like to experiment with it and how results come around. Hopefully I achieved that.

I recommend giving this book a read, but don’t stop there. In order to start attracting women, you need to have a system. You need to have a method (like the Mystery Method) to expedite the process of getting girls’ phone numbers and eventually getting them into bed. Too many men go out to bars and clubs using idiotic pick-up lines and acting the fool, thinking they’re going to pick-up girl. Get your weapons sharpened and watch women start coming to you.

For those of you who have never heard of it, there’s a popular book out there called “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists” by Neil Strauss that’s been changing the way guys go about approaching women. The book discusses Neil Strauss’ personal journey during which he discovered a secret society of guys who use secret techniques to pick up women. Neil explains how he’s lousy with women and that his love life is sub par. These guys take Neil under their wing and teach him the secret ways to meet and attract beautiful women. During the process, Neil becomes a master pick-up artist himself. Now Neil is touted as an expert on the subject of attraction and seduction. Guys actively seek out his advice and pay him big money to teach them.

The book talks about how Neil Strauss goes from being an average Joe to being his new persona. Most of these pickup artists take on nickname for themselves and have named Neil, “Style”. Neil takes us on a fascinating journey into this secret society of pick-up artists. The book is not only a good read, but it will actually teach you a lot. Many of the methods taught by Mystery in The Pick-up Artist season 2 are discussed in “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists”.

The Pick up Artist 2 aired recently on VH1 and once again Mystery is teaching a bunch of socially inept guys how to attract women. Mystery, from The Pick up Artist 2 uses a series of techniques from his arsenal, The Mystery Method. Him and his wings, Tara and Matador work with these guys and try to make studs out of duds.

Mystery teaches DHVs (demonstrations of higher value), negs (negative compliments), bouncing (moving locations) and other strategies to help these guys get girls. So does the Mystery Method work? Use it properly and a lot of the stuff Mystery teaches will work. A guy can definitely learn to attract women. While some guys are just born great at meeting women, some of us need to learn techniques. There is nothing wrong with developign techniques and using a system to get girls.

Women can get pretty tough and love to play hard to get. They play a game so it’s only fair that we learn to counteract the game. it’s only fair that we learn how to get good with women from guys like Mystery from The Pick up Artist.

You too can become a pick up artist if you learn this stuff and put it to work for you. You wouldn’t go into war without a set gameplan and a an arsenal of weapons. In the same way, you can’t expect to go out and meet with with unsharpened weapons and no game plan. Tp get girls, you need to know exactly what to do and exactly what to say.

When men wonder how to attract women, they never consider that it is their state of mind that is actually influencing whether or not women find them attractive! It is true; when I advise men on how to pick up women, one of the first things I tell them is “change your mind, and you will change how women perceive you!”

A man needs to truly be comfortable with who he is and what he has to offer a woman if he wants to be successful in the dating game. Self confidence is an asset that dating men must possess or they are doomed to fail each and every time they try to pick up a woman.

Most men falsely assume that in order to pick up women, that women expect a man to do something, to behave in a certain way, to say the right things, or the treat them with particular care or attentiveness.

While the latter is in fact true, at least in part, what a man is thinking when he is attempting to attract women is far more important than being attentive and possessing the right things to say at the right moment in time. True pick up artists are really successful because they are confident in their abilities to attract women and that confidence is revealed in the male’s exterior persona!

A man’s mindset can be a huge obstacle to the art of attracting women.

Men with low self-confidence may indeed have all the right words to say; may be quite handsome and attractive, and may even know how to show a woman a good time, but the lack of self-confidence will eventually leak through the façade and it will deter the woman from getting to know the man better. Low self-confidence becomes extremely evident when men try way too hard to pick up women.

Low self-esteem equals awkward moments, long silences, and an uncomfortable atmosphere all around. Women love it when a man is confident enough to handle a little lingering silence, and when a man does not force the conversation to flow just to get over issues with dating and/or social anxiety.

Believe me, there is absolutely nothing attractive about desperation, and what you are thinking on the inside when trying to attract a woman really shows whether you want it to or not! Women prefer men that know that are important, special, good looking and attractive and who are not afraid to let their confidence show.

Now bear in mind, that showing off too much confidence is equally dangerous to the male attempting to pick up women. As a pick up artist at work, the fastest way to send women running off into the wilderness is to become overly zealous about how attractive you are.

Not a single woman in this world appreciates someone that acts like a narcissist or someone whose ego is so large that neither he nor the woman he is attempting to attract can fit in the same room with it!

A balance must be found when trying to attract women, one where a man can really feel comfortable with himself as he attempts to pick up the women of his choosing. When a man is comfortable with whom he is, only then can he increase his attractability levels.

A man that has balanced emotions, realistic expectations of himself, and one that is level headed about his approach to attracting women is the one that really gets women to pay attention!